Translator: Vivi from dummytranslations
Editor: Mimishijie ❤
The Emperor is an incapable ruler(14): Minister Zhao’s pillow talk

Xiang Han had, at first, been rendered completely powerless and unable to resist by the drugs. After its effects subsided, he was then tormented to exhaustion by Zhao Ze - he couldn’t even find the energy to lift a finger by the end.

With the last of his strength, he attempted to draw forth the aura of an emperor and berate this insolent subject, but his voice came out broken and rather weak. Rather than forceful, it seemed more like he was coquettishly feigning anger.

Zhao Ze carefully kissed him sincerely and respectfully, yet his movements did not show the slightest hint of stopping.

Xiang Han bitterly clawed him but was very quickly flooded by the tide and fainted from fatigue.

Halfway through, some servants stood outside the palace to report that something had happened to Prince Liang. However, he had been too worn-out and completely did not hear what they said as he fell asleep.

When he woke up once more, Xiang Han stared at the ceiling in a daze, with an expression like he wanted to die.

It has already been three worlds, why was he the one always being done? It wasn’t that being on the bottom wasn’t alright and, frankly speaking, from the bottom of his heart, apart from having his pleas to stop constantly being rejected, most of the time...it felt quite good.

But this was human nature. The more unattainable something was, the more they wanted to obtain it. He just wanted to experience what it was like being on top, and this thought made his heart itch. Just once was enough, but why was it always impossible?

The worst part was, this time, he had even jumped into a pit he had dug for himself.

Xiang Han was depressed and wanted to stand up to take a look at the Nine Songs of Lover's pot. He really could not understand how he had actually poured the medicine for himself.

Unfortunately, the moment he stood up, he fell back onto the bed with a hiss. A wave of pain washed over his waist as if it had been broken and a certain place was in unspeakable agony.

Zhao Ze had been kneeling by the dragon bed. Once he heard the sound of movement, he quickly stood up with an expression of worry, “Your Majesty, you’ve finally woken up. Do you feel discomfort anywhere? Do you need anything? Let this servant help you.”

Xiang Han saw him and his fury rose once more. He angrily raised his hand and pointed a trembling finger at him, fuming, “You deceitful and disrespectful servant, defying the monarch and disobeying...rebellious servant!”

Zhao Ze disregarded the criticisms and stepped forward to catch hold of the dragon’s claw, planting a kiss on the tips of his fingers. He gently said, “Your Majesty, where do you feel uncomfortable? Let this servant give you a massage.”

Xiang Han immediately turned his face away furiously, “I don’t want you. Call the imperial physician in.”

Zhao Ze was stuck, “Beg Your Majesty for forgiveness, but if the imperial physician were to see you now...it wouldn’t be too good.”

Xiang Han lifted his dragon claws and saw that from his fingers to his wrists were filled with marks and nearly choked in anger. He bitterly wanted to give him a kick, but the moment he lifted a leg, there was a wave of pain in his hips and he could only obediently sit still. He could only agree reluctantly, “Forget it, come and give Zhen a massage.”

After saying so, he used all his effort to roll over while another wave of pain assaulted him, causing him to suck in a breath of cold air.

When Zhao Ze heard this, he became so excited that his fingers trembled. Not only did His Majesty not punish him, he even allowed him to touch his body...

He hurriedly sat on the side of the bed. His hands were separated by a layer of fabric but he still nervously pressed the slim waist. Feeling the body below shiver, he couldn’t help but tremble too. After he took a deep breath, he finally began to massage him gently.

Xiang Han had been overly sore and being massaged like this gave him an instant bout of relief. Although he had clenched his teeth, he still could not help groaning. When Zhao Ze heard it, he was agitated; his heart was like a frisky monkey while his mind was a cantering horse.

Xiang Han laid sprawled on the bed for a while before he suddenly remembered he had not yet gone to morning court. He quivered and abruptly sat up, hissing in pain as he held his waist, “What time is it now?”

“It’s almost noon,” Zhao Ze hurriedly supported him to lie back down while calmly saying, “This minister has already instructed Head Minister Li to inform the royal court that your dragon body is unwell and you will be skipping today’s morning court.”

Xiang Han then relaxed and laid back down, glaring at him, “Minister Zhao, fabricating an imperial edict and disrespecting the monarch, are you aware of your crimes?”

“This servant understands, begs Your Majesty for his punishment.” Zhao Ze honestly admitted.

Xiang Han’s heart was stuffy. He could neither hit nor chide him, and in the end, only waved his hands, “I’ll punish you in the future, you will always be on the bottom.”

Zhao Ze heard this and his eyes lit up in excitement, “This servant complies.”

Xiang Han, “...” He suddenly had a bad feeling.

“Zhen isn’t talking about the seats,” He weakly emphasised.

Zhao Ze’s eyes lit up several more watts, causing Xiang Han to feel even more stifled. He simply waved a hand to dismiss him but halfway through, he suddenly remembered something and ask, “Oh right, Zhen seem to have heard something about Prince Liang’s manor last night. What happened?

Zhao Ze hurriedly knelt down and honestly replied, “Prince Liang’s manor caught fire last night and, according to rumours, he had been buried in a sea of flames. This servant saw that Your Majesty was too tired yesterday and dared not disturb...”

Xiang Han frowned and cut him off, “He really died?”

Immediately, Zhao Ze reverted back to a position of begging for forgiveness, “It was this servant’s oversight. The fire was deliberate and Prince Liang took opportunity of the chaos to escape. But he most likely has yet to leave the capital. This servant has already ordered the imperial guards to search undercover.”

“Escaped?” Xiang Han thought for a moment, “Don’t make too much noise. If we can’t catch him, then forget it. He’ll most likely head towards the northwest. Even if he can escape the monk, he cannot escape the temple, and in the end, he is still in our hands.”

These few years, Xiang Han had already reshuffled most of the people Prince Liang had stuffed into the Northwest Army, forcing him to have no choice but to rely on Wang Jun. Moreover, with a few missions, he had dispatched many of the shadow guards which the other person had cultivated.

Prince Liang’s days were not smooth. He most likely could not endure it any longer and risked everything for an opportunity like this.

Xiang Han felt that this situation was not too bad since Prince Liang was somebody who he needed to go against anyway. Now that the mission has collapsed, he would honestly follow the storyline. In any case, the Northwest Army listened to him, he doesn’t believe that Prince Liang can stir anything big.

Zhao Ze could guess his intentions and felt a little worried, “Your Majesty has the intention to lure the snake out of its hole but the risk is big. Although the Northwest Army is in our control, what if other ministers decide to join the fray…”

“Isn’t there still Minister Zhao?” Xiang Han looked at him with a smile that wasn’t quite a smile, “The Southwest Army listens to your command. Zhen’s life now depends entirely on you.”

Zhao Ze’s heart surged as he hurriedly lowered his head, “This minister does not dare.”

“Is there anything that you dare not do?” Xiang Han supported his waist and stood up, his voice cold, “Fabricating an imperial edict and daring to ignore orders, not to mention in the future...What can Zhen do to you, hmm?”

Xiang Han knew Zhao Ze did not have thoughts of disloyalty, but in consideration of his old back, he still felt the need to scare the other person.

Zhao Ze was shocked and broke out in a cold sweat. He hurried explained, “Your Majesty, this servant had indeed been rude and impetuous last night, but definitely has no intentions of committing treason. This servant is willing to hand over the military seal for Your Majesty to deal with.”

“En.” Xiang Han nodded in satisfaction. He put on his dragon robes and tied his sash on before calmly throwing out an order, “Go back and reflect on your actions.”

Saying this, he walked two more steps and turned back, adding profoundly, “Reflect on what you have done wrong.”

Zhao Ze carefully thought, the matter of the medicine had been carried out in utmost secrecy and His Majesty definitely does not know. That could only mean... disrespecting the dragon body.

So His Majesty was actually angry about this matter? Zhao Ze instantly sighed in relief and relaxed. He stood up and said, “Where does Your Majesty want to go? This servant will help you.”

Xiang Han flung his hand away and shot him a dirty look. Zhao Ze tried to persuade him, “This servant will reflect later on. Now that Your Majesty’s dragon body is unwell, it is better to let this servant help you.”

Whose fault was it? Xiang Han’s lips twitched but after taking two steps, he indeed felt soreness in his waist and weakness in his legs. He could not even stand properly and in the end, reluctantly agreed, “En, Let’s go to Prince Liang’s manor.”

The fire at Prince Liang’s manor had been quite big. Aside from having the huge courtyard reduced to ashes, it had also nearly burned into the neighbouring Prime Minister’s home.

Xiang Han lit a candle for the Old Prime Minister in his heart. When disembarking from the carriage, his legs suddenly lost strength and he nearly fell. Zhao Ze swiftly went forward to support him but was heartlessly pushed aside.

Looking at the scene of utter devastation, his heart ‘ached’ once more and he forced himself to squeeze out some tears, choking with difficulty, “I-Imperial brother…Zhen had already planned to lift your sentence. Why...Why did you…”

The entourage of ministers trailing behind paled and shivered, their knees trembling. They couldn’t help but shake their heads and sigh, His Majesty was too merciful.

Although Prince Liang had tried to assassinate His Majesty in the past, his death last night had been too sudden. His Majesty had just recovered from fright before falling ill again and when he woke up, he had disregarded his dragon body to come mourn...

Sigh, look at His Majesty, unable to even stand steadily. His voice was hoarse to the point he could not cry anymore.

The old ministers’ hearts ached and they collectively went forward to comfort him, “Your Majesty, you need to take care of your dragon body…”

Xiang Han’s ‘illness’ was extremely serious and he did not stand for long before he could no longer support himself and fainted. He was picked up by Zhao Ze who carried him to the chariot.

When they arrived back to the palace, he sneakily opened his eyes and rubbed his belly, “Zhen is starving. Quick call Little Bai over.” He especially craved the porridge Little Bai made.
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