Translator: deathbutlowkey from dummytranslations
Editor: Mimishijie
CW: Brief description of gore.
Shen Zhifan’s Secret (3)
The diary was very thick. As he opened it, Shen Zhifan felt somewhat frightened. It was simply a diary, but it seemed like he was flipping open an unspeakable history.
It wasn’t that exaggerated, he slowly reassured himself.
The first page seemed to be about the 28th year, which was five years ago. The handwriting was very messy and confused - evidently, when he had written this, his emotions had been in disarray.
“Today is my first day here. The challenger’s platform is very high - at the first match that I watched here, I saw a mech directly thrown down and fractured into two.”
“From this perspective, and linking it to the books that I’ve read these past few years, I came to the conclusion that the person inside most likely didn’t make it. However, no one cared whether he lived or not.”
“When I listened to their cheers, those spectators...presumably they were spectators, their emotions were ignited to a peak, and they directly threw money onto the stage. Raining paper money from the whole sky, it was beautiful ah...but no one paid attention to the loser, who had been snapped into two. Their eyes were all fixed on the stage.”
“Mr Gurley said that was the strongest mech in this arena. The three-time consecutive champion, with a monthly salary that was enough to buy more than an entire interplanetary orphanage.”
“Actually, as far as I’m concerned, that is still secondary to me. I only want to survive - my sister’s back has been burned, and I don’t know who did it. A large section of her back is completely red, and I hope there won’t be a scar, but the possibility is low. She thinks I don’t know and doesn’t plan on telling me. I know that she’s trying her best to be considerate, but she doesn’t know that by doing this, I completely realise how helpless I am. I can’t leave her in that kind of place.”
“As Mr Gurley said, those people are still hunting me down. It’s so hard to move forward, and there’s no chance of entering any kind of honorable profession...it sounds really pathetic, right?”
“When I passed by, that boy peddled a diary to me, saying that I probably needed it. His clothes were very ragged and he looked quite pitiful. I don’t have the status to pity others, nor am I used to doing so, but I still bought it. If I die tomorrow, at least my sister would still be compensated. If I don’t die, then perhaps this diary will have my handwriting in it tomorrow.”
This was the first entry recorded in the diary, which was also the day that Shen Zhifan had entered the underground mech arena. It was unlikely that before this, he had been getting by well, otherwise he wouldn’t have reached this point.
Reading about his own past experiences so vividly, yet not remembering anything, it seemed as if he was reading someone else’s story. Unfortunately, it also felt more sincere than that, and there was no way to escape his own sorrow. As an onlooker, one could easily only sigh and sob twice, aloof and remote, and that was it.
It turns out that I really had no other way.
Shen Zhifan suddenly felt a sort of indescribable exhaustion, thinking of the intense pain that had risen up in him when he’d touched the power key before. Did all the pain he’d experienced before stem from this one point?
He must have had no other way out.
Shen Zhirou also couldn’t have been living well, and yet she wasn’t willing to tell him, glossing over it in only a few words. Even a sharp, proud girl like her had been slowly ground down by that kind of life into dead stone.
However, in this entry there were a few things that Shen Zhifan didn’t understand. For example, “those people are still hunting me down”, who was it that was trying to capture him?
Why couldn’t he have entered an honourable profession?
Shen Zhifan slowly turned the page over to the second entry.
“I survived. The weather is so nice today - I’ve been staring at the sunshine outside for so long already. Even now, my ears are still ringing, it’s as if dozens of bomber planes landed next to me. I can’t really hear anything, and I definitely can’t fall asleep. The underground arena’s doctor told me there wasn’t anything too bad and just left, but now it’s still bleeding inside.”
“But I’m not unsatisfied. I feel so lucky - at least I survived.”
“It’s a pity that the person on the opposite side died a bit too miserably. His neck, along with the mech’s, was twisted off. He seemed unexpectedly younger than me. When he died, some of his ribs protruded outwards, and his whole body was twisted and soaked in blood. A burst of nausea hit me, and I vomited for a long while, so now I am completely exhausted.”
“I am afraid, and yet I suddenly have a kind of fearlessness.”
“Think of the positives, Shen Zhifan. If you die tomorrow, the compensation your sister receives will be larger.”
This was the second day. A struggle flashed through Shen Zhifan’s foggy mind, a struggle that sounded rather pathetic.
Two young boys, perhaps no older than eighteen, fought to the death in order to live to tomorrow. Even paying the ultimate price, their lives were completely worthless here. The audience watched as if watching a mime show, with cool eyes and detached expressions, jeering repeatedly. Their deaths were without a shred of dignity, their bloodstains hurriedly buried in rotten money.
Shen Zhifan’s throat moved. He even felt the pain in his ears, as he turned to the next page.
“I’m still alive today, but my ears are still very sore and I can’t hear anything.”
“The bad news is that the doctor says that I have to get it looked at, and if I don't, I may become deaf. The good news is that I’ve had two victories in a row, and got one week off.”
“But there’s no way for me to go back and visit Shen Zhirou...it will probably be a long while before I can go see her. At least this is happening before I recover and look proper again. If she saw me like this, she would probably cry out loud, right? I don’t want to make her cry anymore.”
“Niya treats me very well - she carefully bandaged my wounds for me. I’ve been wrapped up like one of those mummies from the old history books, but when I look into the mirror I think it’s quite funny. Niya laughed at that, but she still cried a little for me...She’s a good girl, but it’s a pity that I can’t accept her feelings.”
“That’s all for today. I hope that after a week, I’m still alive.”
Wrapped up like a mummy...the corners of Shen Zhifan’s mouth lifted into a somewhat helpless smile. Though he came so close to death, this youth making light of his situation sounded quite funny.
The third diary entry however, was not dated a week later. Looking at the date, only three days had passed.
“Today, I bought something quite interesting. It really makes one reminisce, see, ‘Mechanical Falcon’. My god, something like this could actually be found in the storage of the boy who sold me this diary. He said he admired me, and let me choose a book.”
“Ai, of course I chose that person’s magazine. To me, others have long lost any appeal. Honestly speaking, I’m a little angry if I think about it now ah. I just found out that all those things that I had read before in ‘Mechanical Falcon’ were complete nonsense - no wonder it could only be sold at those kinds of lousy little places, cheating little boys like us...after I settle down, I also want to publish a mech magazine. It will definitely sell better than ‘Mechanical Falcon’.”
“Also, I got my first fan. Well, Aibo, who sold me the diary and magazine, has been squabbling with Niya over the position of my first fan, haha. They say that I’ll get popular since I’m not just amazing but also handsome. Though right now I’m still mixed in with the lowest positions, they really believe in me ah...ai, they’re both really cute, making my life as a mummy really fun.”
“The date of the competition is coming closer. I’m a little scared, but I’ll count each day as I live it, isn’t that right?”
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3 comments
Thank you for the chapter! Really excited to learn more about Shen Zifan's past
ReplyDeleteYup, I'm happy too to learn more about SZF. I hope his sister don't has a scar now D:
ReplyDeleteThx for the ch \(≧▽≦)/
Jesus Christ. I'm crying. What the hell? Wasn't this supposed to be fluffy? QAQ Nuuuu. Baby Zhifan. He suffered so much!!!
ReplyDelete